Family time

Just a few shots on a Sunday. One of the good things about traffic being so crazy, shopping being so difficult and needing to give our driver one day off per week is that we have had a lot of good, relaxed time at home as a family.

My boys reading

 

Hannah and Matthew love to read to each other

 

Goofy goggle girl

 

Silly sunglasses

 

While I was away...

There were a few interesting and funny moments to report in my absence.

Shae took the kids to the beach for 4 days since there was a national holiday. It involved a one hour domestic flight to Goa. At the airport, he was questioned by security: "Where is your wife, sir?" Surely, a father wouldn't endeavor such a trip SOLO. Glad we're a little more advanced in the States and kudos to my husband!

While in Goa, Shae ordered steak for the kids one night. When it arrived, Matthew literally climbed into Shae's lap, threw his arms around his neck and said, "I love you for ordering steak, Daddy!" Can you tell we don't get much beef?

Hannah reported to me on the phone that her favorite thing about Goa was the clams. There's a wonderful beach with lots of wildlife. I love how she described their insides: "They were white like clouds. But not fluffy."

And one last thing to share from the home front:
Long ago I posted about a humorous exchange with a shopkeeper when I first arrived. She apparently thought I look like Deepika Pudikone, a Bollywood starlet. What's amusing is that I look nothing like her, but the joke goes on. Yesterday, our driver Raju held up a photo in the newspaper of her and asked Hannah who it was. Hannah shrugged. I tried to explain the joke, emphasizing that now I look even less like her as I have short brown, curly hair (not a jet black silky mane), am much larger than size 2 in my pregnant state, etc. Hannah added, "And you have big boobies!" I blushed and hopped out the car quickly... beginning the conversation about when/where we use that word. :)

Community?

Community looks so different here.

As a rule, I try not to blog when I'm feeling really disgruntled or grumpy about life in India. Though tempted, I didn't write anything the last few days about the flood of things I encountered upon my return. I'll just sum it up with the comment I made to Shae last night, "India hasn't welcomed me back." Nothing terrible or earth-shattering... just annoying, irritating, discouraging things.

All of this to say, I'm glad I didn't write any more because this morning I've seen the other side of the coin. As I was wallowing a bit in the challenges of community life here, I had a lovely walk with a new friend who's been here for 2 years. Her company was a great encouragement and her empathetic, listening ear was a gift. So was a brisk walk in the sunshine.

With these comments, I frame my musings on community. Sadly, aforementioned friend is leaving Bangalore in July. In the next 5 months, there are 8 (EIGHT) families leaving... these are families that I know, contacts in my cell phone, carpooling to school families, borrow-a-ladder-from-them families, come-to-our-birthday-parties families, host-a-baby-shower-for-me families.

The transitory nature of the expat crowd has been one of the hardest things to adjust to here. And we're part of it--traveling many weekends, long trips back to one's home country, business travel, etc. This makes planning and keeping social events tricky. It makes weekly commitments tricky.

People some to come and leave in waves. The first exodus happened shortly after we arrived; I think I blogged about it last year. There have been a few departures since, but now comes another big exodus. Less families are coming due to the recession, but there are a few new faces. I need to summon the energy to reach out and make some new friends. This feels challenging. As I write, I realize some of you have made a life this way and are very skilled in it (esp. my family that has lived the military life). I think I lost some of my mojo while settled (eventually contentedly :)) in Minneapolis for 10 years. This feels stretching to me. But I am grateful for the many people that are clearly placed in my path; I receive them as gifts from God and am learning to receive and release on a much shorter turn around than I'm accustomed to.

One last thought, dear reading friends. I know this is getting long. I think one of the challenges for me is that many of the ways I've experienced community aren't needed/practiced here. Everyone has household help. People don't need meals when they have a new baby or their husband is out of town. Almost everyone has a nanny; they don't need (or want) to swap childcare. Errands and grocery shopping are necessarily delegated to drivers, etc. So all of this leaves me a bit isolated at times, challenged to find ways to share life with others. I'm grateful for this season of life but eager to return to the life I left, too. (One piece of good news is that most folks don't have ovens and still appreciate something from one. :))

Still learning to navigate this new terrain,
Lisa

Hannah's art

This may be hard to see, but this is a comet/shooting start coming out of outerspace (note the planets), heading toward earth (note the polar caps on either end of globe), announcing Jesus's birth (can you see the stable?)!

 

Thanks for the fun horse stickers, Aunt Ellen!

 

Hannah drew this while hanging out with Shae one afternoon. The words are answers to the following questions:
1. What's your name? (Daddy)
2. What's your favorite thing? (Mom)
3. What's another thing you really like? (Ferrari)
4. What's your favorite animal? (cheetah)

 

My girl loves to draw!

 

Culture shock

What do you do when you're up at 2:25am, jetlagged and hungry? Eat cereal and blog.

I returned less than 24-hours ago from a WONDERFUL, short, sweet trip to Pittsburgh to meet my new niece, Eliana Joy. A post on the trip with pictures to come soon.

This post is my reflections on my brief visit to the great U S of A. For some reason (probably because I was unaccompanied by minors), I felt a much stronger wave of culture shock upon returning home. It could have been intensified by the fact that I was in a new place (not the familiar MN and CO with friends and family that we visited in the fall); this was my first visit to Pittsburgh.

I was soothed by the beautiful roads, sane and orderly traffic, functioning infrastructure, relative peace, quiet and calm of a bustling metropolis, noted absence of livestock, etc.

I was awed to bathe in drinking water.

I was bowled over by the aisles of Trader Joe's and Target. Row after row after row of options for dental floss (rarely available here, often requires a trip to a pharmacy), ceramics (not cheesy silkscreened patterns), seasonal decor (I have never wanted to buy Valentine's decorations with such fervor), and toys. I confess I wanted to buy everything and nothing... at the same time. I was dazzled and repulsed by the excess. Good for the family budget, I was somewhat paralyzed and mostly bought just the items on my list (excepting a splurge at the One Spot for fun treats for the kiddos).

A trip to a wonderful part of the city called "The Strip", blocks of great ethnic markets, restaurants and neat independently-owned businesses left me with the same feelings. I was delighted by all the offerings but a little overwhelmed, too, and not even able to process all that was available.

Shopping in India is so different in so many ways. There are very high-end items available for about twice their cost in the US; in my absence, Shae and the kids visited a new mall with Tag Heuer watches for $8,000. Groceries (local) are generally less expensive, while imported items (crackers, cookies, etc.) are 2-3x the US price. Because there are so many expats (one report claimed 50,000) in Bangalore, there is a remarkably good array of options compared to other parts of India... but it also depends how much you want to pay.

My strategy has been to try the local brands, enjoy the great produce and not purchase imported items except for special occasions (cheese for Christmas Eve, e.g.). I think that's why I was hit by waves of longing for our favorite US treats (letter cookies from TJ's, wholegrain crackers, beef jerky, blueberries, cottage cheese, ANY cheese--feta, blue, Brie... oh the list goes on, parasite-free lettuce and other greens, Kalamata OLIVES, etc.).

I've written mostly about food here, but my thoughts are analogous to many other areas.

And I conclude with the cliche you've been waiting for: in sum, I realize how fortunate we are in so many ways in the US. I am humbled by how many things I've taken for granted. Part of me feels like we don't need the insane number of options we have, part of me is comforted by and grateful for them. As we near our 1-year mark in India, I am glad to have come and will be very glad to be returning to the US. More thoughts on my surprisingly deeply-rooted Americanness to come.

Thanks, dear readers, for following my musings.

Pregnancy in India

It's been interesting being pregnant here.

First, I am grateful to have a very competent OB. She recommended the venue for my 20-diagnostic ultrasound, highlighting the skills of the MD there (best in the city, does training all over India). I am glad I arrived at the Bangalore Fetal Medicine Center with a knowledge of the skill of those employed there because the facility did not inspire much confidence... let's just say it's not the kind of place I'd want to have surgery (or any other procedure that involved more than something rubbed on top of my tummy). Cobwebs, crumbling walls, the power going out multiple times during the ultrasound.

At the ultrasound appt, I was happy to mark "NO" to the "Married within relation?" box. I was also informed that Caucasians have slightly better birthing hips that Indians; the staff was impressed that I delivered our 10.2 pound Matthew without a C-section or gestational diabetes.

So are we having a BOY or a GIRL?? One striking thing about ultrasounds in India: it is ILLEGAL to use them to determine the sex of the baby. I had to sign a document declaring that "I do not want to know the sex of the baby" and the MD had to sign saying, "I did not detect or disclose the sex of the baby". Warnings are posted on the walls to similar effect. Though part of me would have liked to know, I am more than happy to comply with this law which aims to protect millions of baby girls who'd otherwise be aborted. Infanticide of girls reaches up to 20% in rural regions (where ultrasounds are used illegally), with in-laws sometimes pressuring/forcing daughter-in-laws to abort children if they are not boys. Sobering.

On a lighter note, many Indians don't deem an ultrasound necessary to determine the sex of your unborn baby; pregnancy lore and old wives' tales abound. I think I've referenced this before, but we now have 3 certain confirmations (driver, cook, maid) that we're having a boy! The proof? "Your face is dry, your neck is thin (I thought this was a good thing!), and you are looking very tired everyday, madam." Charming.

And the encouraging words come from my countrymen as well. When at the beach in Pondicherry, I was wearing a cover up over my suit. Hannah volunteered, "I remember when that used to fit you, Mommy!"

Baby pictures

I TRIED to post these weeks ago but ran into so many routine technical difficulties (power outtage, internet going out, etc.) that I gave up. So, belatedly (had the ultrasound 1 month ago) here are some pictures of Baby McC. I'd written a long post about pregnancy in India here, too, which was deleted in aforementioned spate of techinical difficulties, so I will not attempt here but add a separate post.

Profile shot of head, facing up

 

Strong (swimming?) arm

 

3D pic of baby looking forward

 

3D pic of baby looking forward with hand on left side of face