Update attempt

I've written many blog posts in my head, with titles like "Taking on Water" after a series of hard days, then "Flickering Light at End of Tunnel" after a good day. It feels hard to summarize life right now. My best effort is perhaps this word picture:

Life feels like an experience I had on a recent trip to Kerala here. I'm standing chest-deep in the ocean with a moderate tide, holding Matthew who doesn't yet know how to swim. There's a happy point far enough out at which you can stand without getting knocked over and it's not yet too deep. Some of the time I can feel the sand beneath my feet and I jump up to hold us both above the oncoming wave (days like this I can answer an email or make a phone call). Some of the time the waves are bigger than I expect and I can't keep my footing... but the hardest part is I struggle desperately to make sure Matthew (read: Sarah, Hannah, Matthew, Shae, myself) stays above the water or at least isn't under the water for too long. That's the part that feels panicky/scary.

The good news is that we have help, Sarah's reflux has mellowed some with the meds (less frequent/intense crying times) and others are able to soothe her now. The hardest part is going on 10 weeks of significant sleep deprivation. Her longest stretch is still 7-10pm or so and then 2 or 3 hr stretches after that. We're trying lots of things but no magic bullet yet.

We are grateful for your words of encouragement and prayers. Please pray for Hannah and Matthew, too; their usually normal sibling rivalry has degenerated into a real meanness and physicality of late--signs of the stress that we all feel.

We have some good things coming up. Shae looks forward to a 2-week trip/trek in northern India with Mark B., and I am excited for my friend Sarah B's visit during his absence.

No promises about timeline, but hope to post some photos soon.