English?

I share the following not in mockery, but as a glimpse into our lives here: English is a second (or third, or fourth) language for most. It makes for some interesting (mis-)communication.

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This is a true essay written by a candidate in the UPSC (Union Public Service Commission) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian Cow.

"He is the cow" The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,and
because he is female, he give milks,(but will do when he is got child)
He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got
four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps
attached to his basement. (horses don't have any such attachment) what
can it do? Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk
and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind
generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, also
his other motion....Gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as
for making flat cakes(like pizza) in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards he chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of
the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only
attacking and20defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got
child. This is done by knowing his head where \by he causes the
weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly
proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated
in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies
which alight on his cohesive body herepon he gives hit with it..The
palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other
relatives. This is the cow.....

We are informed that the candidate somehow passed the exam.