I've been feeling a lot of turmoil about our life here. I think it's because I've had multiple opportunities to try and articulate the ups and downs of life here to our many guests over this last season (4 sets of dear friends and family that we traveled with and hosted in Bangalore over the last few months).
To be honest, I find myself feeling defensive when our guests come and see some of the beauty, luxury and ease of some parts of our life. There are lots of unseen costs, stresses and drains. But I'm grateful to be reminded of the many good things, too.
Palm lined avenues, household help and inexpensive spas sound nice. They are. But some serious restrictions on personal freedom, no car to drive myself, endless details to manage, illiterate help--loyal and honest as they are--who don't follow through, don't have initiative and have to be asked countless times... these things are challenging. Mango season is great. Getting diarrhea a few times a month is not (not from mangoes, just from food/water in general :)).
I think I'm a bit weary in general because of the heat, lots of travel, being pregnant, etc. We just weathered an extensive and extended search for a new house here (hoping for a little garden space and safer street for kiddos as #3 arrives) that ended in futility. Long story short: the real estate mafia won. At this point, I'm relieved to be staying where we are but a bit baffled by the whole process. The layers of corruption, greed and self-serving are disillusioning.
Dear readers, I know strains and trials are not unique to us here. I am sure there are many things weighing on you, too. And I pray that wherever in the world you are, you sense God's presence and care for you.
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5 comments:
So goes the difference of living versus vacationing, huh?
I really appreciated your post, Lisa. I think about you guys a lot, and pray for you often (especially when I think about being pregnant in a distant land). I remember the end of my time in Israel, all the idiosyncrasies of culture were catching up to me. Yes the walls of the old city turned a beautiful blush color in the sunrise, but I really didn't care to get up at dawn to see it. I saw it every day. Just like now, I suppose. We have another cloudy day here, the breeze with barely a hint of spring in it and thick drizzle coating everything grey. But as I look out my window, I imagine what you're thinking about another day of heat and sun and how it would be to change places. I'm reminded of a Nichole Nordeman song...
Send us rain.
would you send us rain?
'cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again.
and the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade.
but maybe not, not today, maybe you'll provide in other ways and if that's the case
We'll give thanks to you
with gratitue
for lessons learned in how to trust in you
and how to bless the very sun that warms our face
if you never send us rain.
Praying for your family today...that God would fill both our families with gratitude for what we have now. And help us see the good on the days we'd rather not.
~Mindy
oh, lisa -- I felt your weariness and longing to be thankful all tangled up...I understand, I weep with you, and I struggle with you to find rest and hope and a glad heart...will be praying more specifically for you...thank you for your honest writing...
"bradley" is sarah johannsen -- so you aren't mystified (-:
Dear Sarah (a.k.a Bradley),
Thanks for "hearing" me, friend, and for your encouragement. I love seeing the beauty you capture on your blog, "in the midst of chaos"--as the title goes. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Grace and peace to you and yours,
Lisa
Dear Mindy,
Thank you for your thoughtful and knowing comment and your prayers for us. You said it: it's the gulf between living and vacationing!
God is amazing; the afternoon I read your comment, there was a short but powerful rain storm after 5 MONTHS, literally 5 months, of no rain. :) I smiled and ran outside. We're still a few months from the monsoon season, but that storm was a much needed 24-hour relief.
Gratefully,
Lisa
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